This song is a transcript of the bad dream that started the long process of actively changing who I was to become someone better. Someone I could live with being. This change was my main purpose for The Forums- attempts to vanquish a young man's past, the regrets and the nightmares, without ever spelling out which were which. This song is a necessary exception.
lyrics
Didn’t put up much of a fight
I must’ve outweighed by twice
Hogtied with hateful little binds
Bite down on the apple, now
Goddamn don’t make a sound tonight
I like dreams too much
Clumsy hands got oil in the eyes
Clumsy hands grabbed the oar just right
Clumsy hands’ll stop the little fight
What’s this code doing to me now?
No time for me to sleep tonight
I like dreams too much
and then she stood up, without a scratch on her
Unconscious boy
I'll build you a spine
With the razor in my hand
Your ribs and hide
Stretch out like wings
This backbone pattern
is from your mind
Wake up!
I’m begging you!
Wake up!
Tell me I'm not this!
Wake up!
What happened to me?!
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